when we discover the intimate amazing joys of a romantic loving relationship we realize that in order to maintain the integrity and depth of commitment in that relationship we have to sacrifice some of our own personal happiness. this is well and good in the sense that it takes a while for people to come to terms with the subtleties of converting personal individual pursuits of happiness into acknowledging the cherish the welfare and blessings of the other as part and parcel of one's own happiness. one of the difficulties in attaining that awareness and finally the enlightened compassion which manifests as happiness surpassing that previously thought attainable, is with the manipulation of the details around which that happiness is generated as one party discovers personal power is more appealing and satisfying than pure joy filled happiness.
Personal power is not personal happiness. It is the capacity and ability of one person to express their presence in the world to others; to garner the accolades and appropriate submissive behaviors that are due one who perceives oneself as hierarchically dominant. Power relationships are not loving relationships nor are they producive of happiness, but they are the most common of all forms of human relations. More time is spent in our lives suffering from the manifestations of personal power than we give to our pursuit of happiness. We train our children to understand and experience and acknowledge this. We train those around us to submit to ours, or we learn to submit to theirs. So much time in fact that we lose our own sense of capacity to fulfill our own lives with the blessings of BEING.
No where is this more apparent than when people discover within themselves that they have submissively complied with the personal power of someone they previously felt that they loved in the most committed of ways. The discovery is an important but minor awareness that becomes more of a depression causality than a path to enlightened action. Of the few who make this discovery fewer still find the power to act on it, and remove themselves from their dependency on the other for granting of happiness and compassionate companionship. Parents start their children along this route, that is oft referred to as conditional love. "I love you, but i would love you more if yada yada blah blah blah.." Parents train kids to follow senseless and irrational rules, because the parent knows best(a considerable fallacy), as a way to show their love for their children as long as the child obeys the rules. If we can conceive that a parent who sends a child to a "boot camp for tough love" because the parent loves the child so much, they want what is best for the child, then we are admitting that such human relations are not as horrendously and insanely flawed as they are. Conditional love is personal power politics dictating control over the pursuit of another's happiness, and as such has lasting deleterious effects on the lives of those children and subsequent generations.
more later
You have discovered arachnoanarchy
otter clan omarian otter oasis
